Office-Mock-Bruschetta

I am wearing a new-ish white shirt that I bought for $9 over the weekend. I love it…and I just sprayed balsamic vinegar along the front.

This morning I packed my lunch in a hurry. I tore off a hunk of wheat Italian baguette. I threw a whole Roma tomato in a plastic baggie along with a sprig of five basil leaves. I then poured some balsamic vinegar and some olive oil in a dressing container, shoved them all in a lunch bag and ran out the door.

I’ve been hungry all day so I decided to make some tomato basil salad and I intended to use my bread to scoop up my lentil soup at lunch. Can you see where this is heading? If you can’t, I am worried.

In my company kitchen I found a long, sword-like knife (why they have one like that I don’t know…and why they would allow someone like me to use it is an even better question) to cut up my tomatoes. I grabbed the piece of bread, sliced it in half and tossed it in the toaster. In a coffee mug, I threw the squared tomatoes and drizzled the olive oil and balsamic, stirring until they were all well mixed. When my bread was done I wrapped it up in paper towel and along with my mug of tomato-olive oil-balsamic vinegar, sauntered to my desk in hopes to make my coworkers drool. Out of the plastic baggie I took the basil, and with a pair of (don’t freak out Mom!) desk scissors, snipped the leaves until I had a small pile of basil strips atop my tomato mix. I pulled out some salt in a packet and then asked a coworker to borrow his pepper shaker (we love food here, how cute is that?). When it was well-mixed, I scattered my tomato basil “salad” generously over my bread. I stopped to admire it for a brief second and took a large chomp, causing piled tomatoes to tumble down onto my desk and my new-ish $9 white shirt.

I don’t care about my shirt.

It’s just too good.

Cha-cha's Not-So-Yummy White Chicken Chili

So, lately I've had a new craving. I love me some Taco Time. Okay, I love anything of the taco variety. But my love for this fast food chain increased when I tried their White Chicken Chili.

You see, I used to be all about the mexi-nuggets. Then I figured out that those babies amount to a whole lot of calories and fat that could be much better used towards things like Reduced Fat Chips Ahoy cookies. I could have 9 cookies for the same amount of fat and calories as these itty-bitty fried potato balls. 9 cookies! Even I have my priorities.

Anyways, back to Taco Time, I decided that I can't just have a taco. I wanted something to go with it. So I ventured out of my box and went for the chili. That stuff was so good I seriously contemplated eating the bowl just because I knew there was other chili bits just waiting for me in the crevices. Don't worry, I restrained. Sorta.

After this taste of heaven, I was constantly left wanting more. I figured I am a pretty good cook. I can make a mean chocolate devils food cake (okay, so that's baking but still...). There had to be a recipe out there for this concoction of White Chicken Chili. I had to find that recipe.

So I set off to allrecipes.com. I searched, I checked how many stars, I looked at the pictures, I will even admit to reading the reviews. Finally, I struck gold. The picture looked just like what they have at Taco Time. This HAD to be it. I was so excited, I even PLANNED AHEAD.

I decided that since I had to have this chili NOW, I would make it the night before, let it simmer in the crockpot, and then enjoy it for lunch. I had visions of sharing with my peeps all the greatness of the chili. Then I woke up.

The gold was tarnished. Or I went to the wrong gold mine. Something was desperately wrong with my chili. My house did not emit yummy-I-am-going-to-have-the-best-lunch-ever vibes. My house smelled like something awful. I think it could have been dirty feet. But there was no dirty feet in the house, just my chili. But who am to judge based on smell alone? I mean, some of the best foods smell awful right? Right? I know, I am kidding myself. But I tried it anyway.

That was a mistake. The taste in my mouth could also have been dirty feet. Or peas. It was that bad. So, although I have no yummy white chicken chili, I have learned a few things from this little adventure:

1. Stick to Taco Time. It will never be the same.
2. Cha Cha lies. She does not make delicious chili. Someone was just trying not to hurt her feelings. That someone is not me. She owes me for making my house smell. I am sending her the cleaning bill.
3. If it smells bad, it is so gonna taste worst. DON'T EAT IT.

Now, does anyone want any chili/feet soup? There is plenty for the whole class...